Maximise your message and avoid falling at the final hurdle

1.  The advert really turns YOU on.
Rarely, if ever, are you your target audience; nor are your co-directors, your colleagues, partner or friends. If you don’t truly understand who your target audience are and know what they currently think and do and know what you want them to think and do… then you’re well on the way to advertising failure.

2. The advert that appeals to everyone.
No advert has ever, or will ever, appeal to more than a small percentage of the total number of people who could potentially buy your stuff. So, if you’re seeking to have the least effective advert of all time, then make sure it appeals to everyone. Alternatively, concentrate on influencing one key group at a time.

3. Claiming without proving.
An advert that states “we’re slightly better than average if truth be told” will have far more stand out than all the others that scream “we’re the best”.  If you can’t prove something, then don’t claim it.

4. Use the statements, “Outstanding Quality”, “Best Price” and “Excellent Service” liberally.
These, and other nominalisations, can be found in most of the truly awful adverts.  They tell the reader “our products and services have nothing really special about them so we’ll fall back on these old staples instead”.  If you have nothing to say then save your money.  Better still; invest in some R&D so you will have something to shout about in the future.

5. Seek instant results.
For years retailers had an annual sale and people would flock to them for a bargain. Then sales became more frequent – the summer sale as well as January and in time some stores never even bothered to take the “SALE” signs down and the impact was diluted then lost. So, for a truly awful advert, follow suit: cram it full of deals, special offers and last minute opportunities – all the time. Or maybe not! Remember, a true offer, used selectively, can have huge impact; however make it a Real Deal.

6. Go for brand building and simultaneously direct response.
Now I accept that the best tactical adverts support the brand and the best brand development advertising can cause a short term lift in sales BUT the worst ads attempt to achieve the near impossible by doing two jobs at once. If you’re after a direct response then accept that this is, at best, the likely sole outcome. Brand advertising does the job of making people aware before they need some of what you’re selling.

7. Cram the advert full … go on, make at least five points!
As we’re exposed to several thousand messages every day we have the attention span of the village idiot in the goldfish bowl (I’m told that even goldfish have a hierarchy of intelligence) – so the very worst ads have the ability to confuse the reader by attempting to sell too many things at once.  Alternatively make your best point clearly and concisely – and resist the temptation to do any more.

8. Change your advertisement regularly.
You will be bored of your advertisement long before your target audience is even aware of it, so if you really want low impact; change, change and change your ads again and again. The most powerful messages are the ones we gradually become aware of, that drip feed into our consciousness and in time cause us to respond.

9.  Assume your audience are experts… or treat them as idiots.
The ads which get the fastest response of the wrong kind - the turn the page kind! -  are those that confuse or patronise. You need to know how to pitch your ads.

10. Expect the ad to do the salesman’s job for him.
Good adverts generate enquiries that then need to be converted into sales. You know this makes sense, so why do so many ads attempt to capture the attention, make the sales pitch and close the deal all in one go?

Remember that great advertising helps a bad product fail faster!  However a more common sin is the poor communication of a great idea that people would buy in droves if they could just understand what you’re selling.

Peter Knight is chairman of Phoenix, a communications agency, and author of the best-selling ‘HEMP: Highly Effective Marketing Plans’. If you run a real business and have come up with a stunning marketing plan, or you want help to create one, Peter would love to hear from you at pk@phoenixplc.com